A meaningful life consists of seeking and sharing the truth. In order to do so effectively, we need to take a hard look at how we perceive blessings and curses. If we get it wrong, it can taint our truth-sharing. If we get it right, it can unlock the sometimes difficult but always worthwhile treasures of a meaningful life.

All of this is true on an individual level, being truthful with oneself. It is also true on a communal level, communicating the truth amongst participants.

 

A Happy Meal 

Most of us attach the distinction between blessing and curse to our feelings. Does something hurt? If it does, it must be a curse. And if something feels good, it must be a blessing.

In a real sense, we have eroded what it means to be blessed. We imagine that blessing is about getting what we want, experiencing what we like. It is very difficult for us to imagine it any other way.

Our feelings are important. They have a part to play. But they are not the determining factor. After all, sometimes the truth hurts. And sometimes it feels good to ignore reality.

Ad campaigns, both political and commercial, have made a meal out of this false perspective around blessing and curse. Many institutions, including families, lean into it. 

What this creates is a world where it is more and more difficult to seek and share truth. Many organizations, including the church, often mistake being nice with being true. Whatever “blesses” others is the purest truth. We do this as individuals as well. In the same vein, whatever “curses” others should be avoided. Seeking blessing and avoiding curse are both good practice, but not if the sacrifice required is reality (truth). It is so hard for us to discern what is true in the modern world precisely because we have been conditioned to think hearing what we want to hear is the greatest blessing.

 

The True Distinction

Blessings do not always feel good. Have you ever had to tell someone a truth, perhaps that their boyfriend is cheating on them or that they are in danger of getting fired, that you knew was going to hurt their feelings? We face this difficulty on a regular basis. Should we enter into potential conflict or keep the peace? If we keep to the Happy Meal regiment, we tend to lean toward avoiding any sort of conflict or difficulty, keeping the peace at all costs.

But what this creates is not true peace. It establishes a false harmony. The tension is there. Ignoring it does not make it go away and most of the time exacerbates it.

Sharing the truth is about loving someone enough to have hard conversations with them.

When you do this, you bless them. How is this a blessing? Because blessing is about illuminating the truth. A curse is when we shut down the truth, for one reason or another. Calling out the truth in a person is the true definition of blessing.

A word of caution here. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says, “At least I am telling the truth!”. Expressing an honest opinion is not the same thing as telling the truth. There is a stark difference between “being right” from a legalistic standpoint and sharing a truth that blesses someone. Sharing truth is not an excuse to lambast people with your vile.

Sharing the truth is about speaking in love. What this means is that you are only blessing a person when you share a difficult truth with them in a way that celebrates their potential, elevates their true identity, and invites them into betterment.

A curse is when we shut down the light within another person. We can do this with violence and neglect, which is how we often think about it. We can also do it with fuzzy superficiality, choking their true self on trite complacency.

Truth is an acquired taste. Life, in all honesty, is easier (in a certain sense) without its complexities, epiphanies, and calls to action. Many of us have been mired in the curse of neglect, violence, or superficiality. Our true self has been stifled. And we are just as guilty as stifling the truth in others. In order to function better as an individual and as a participant in a community we have to commit to sharing the truth and blessing one another.