THE MOMENT OF TRUTH2022-01-13T15:48:38+00:00

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

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A tool for guiding leaders and organizations into prioritizing the seeking and sharing of truth. The Moment of Truth is used to help establish and maintain reality, navigate conflict, and invite participants to take ownership of their part in the mission.

Sharing truth is challenging and can create conflict. But avoiding it is worse – it leads to accepting false realities and pulls us away from our shared vision. Meaningful organizations seek and share truth as a regular practice.

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In order to create a culture of sharing truth we must measure small and measure often. A Moment Of Truth takes place when:
  1. Performance is not aligning with expectations (Freedom V)
  2. An individual does not have a clear understanding of their HERE
  3. An individual does not have clarity of the THERE
3 WAYS TO SHARE TRUTH

Me-to-Me: Discover, learn, and contemplate within oneself and through one’s own experience. The ability/practice of recognizing when you are in the Victim Circle and owning the 3 Things You Control is an exercise in Me-to-Me Moment of Truth.

Others-to-Me: People help us with “blind spots” and expand our capacity for truth by sharing their experience and perspective.

Me-to-Others: I lead/influence the people around me by communicating truth with grace.

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH IS A 4 STEP PROCESS:
1. Acknowledge Reality:

Start with yes or no, true or false questions. The why is important, but not without first establishing the facts. Individuals will try to get into the story right away, we must value truth enough to push for establishing the facts first and foremost.
Example: Is the expectation you begin your work day at 9:00 am? Did you come in by 9:00 today?

2. Get The Story:

There can be many reasons why an individual’s performance does not meet expectations.  We need to figure out the real cause so that we can address the root issue. Sometimes it can be a lack of clarity regarding expectations, as a leader this is an opportunity to clarify and reestablish expectations, and brings an end to the MOT. Ask questions like “tell me more about…” “how?” or “what?”.
Example: Why didn’t you make it in by 9:00 today? What is your morning routine? What other responsibilities do you have before work? How long does it take for you to get here?

3. Create A Plan:

Don’t assume a conversation is enough. Come up with an action plan to help the individual achieve expected results. Create SMART Goals that will help them learn how to create healthy boundaries for themselves, structure demands behavior. Good SMART Goals create clear expectations and consequences. Invite them into the process, deciding on proper boundaries/consequences together (Freedom V). Be clear, putting the plan in writing will help you in Step 4.

4. Give Feedback:

A feedback loop creates accountability. We want to be intentional about following up with individuals, making sure the action plan is effective and driving the desired behavior. If the action plan is not driving desired behavior another MOT is necessary.

The Four Squares help us and others understand the reasons behind our choices

There are 4 reasons why people do, or do not do something. They fall into 2 categories:

Ability: Does the person have the knowledge/resources to achieve the expectation?
Motivation: Does the person have the desire to accomplish the task?

1. Can and Will: This is where we want to be. “I have the knowledge and the desire” – this is only true if the result is accomplished.
2. Can’t but Wants to: Lack of ability. Plan should include training, equipping.
3. Can but Won’t: Lack of motivation. Plan should include clarifying connection between the task and the THERE, including values of participants. If they do not believe in the vision enough to commit to the tasks required to get there, they might be in the wrong organization.
4. Can’t and Won’t: Lack of both motivation and ability. Plan should include the above two adjustments side-by-side.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

FREE DOWNLOAD OF SERVANT LEADERSHIP TOOLS FLASHCARD PACKET

PODCAST EPISODES

BLOG POSTS

HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FACT AND TRUTH
TRUTH IS MORE COMPLICATED THAN YOU THINK
WHAT STORY ARE YOU GOING TO TELL?
SPEAKING TRUTH CAN TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIP

VIDEO SERIES

CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLES
Conflict is not a bad thing. It is a neutral entity. How we respond determines whether it is a net loss or gain. The Conflict Resolution Styles help us evaluate our tendencies in regards to conflict and move with intention toward a mission-centered resolution.
The fear of conflict is the biggest reason people tend to avoid sharing truth. Conflict is a neutral entity, neither inherently good or bad. How we handle (or resolve) conflict determines its value. It can be healthy and beneficial if we resolve well and destructive if we resolve poorly. Conflict is the result of at least two variant perspectives on what is true.
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Conflict can happen when:
  1. There is a lack of clarity of the THERE
  2. There is uncertainty concerning the HERE
  3. In the Storming phase of the Mood Curve
THERE ARE 5 CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLES:

1. Avoidance (The Bolter): Refuses to engage. Doesn’t say anything, shuts down and leaves. “I’m not having this conversation
right now”. Can be valuable when emotions need to cool; danger lies in avoiding truth for the sake of a false-harmony.

2. Accomodation (The Bower): Allows the other party to win, does not think it is “worth it” to continue to engage in the conflict.
“Alright, fine, let’s do it the way you suggest.” Valuable when the conflict is small and relatively insignificant; danger lies in
silencing underlying values and building passive aggression towards the involved parties (typically a competitor).

3. Compromise (The Broker): Tries to find a solution where both win a little and both lose a little. “Why don’t we try it your way this
time and my way the next time?” Valuable when both perspectives of truth are valid. Dangerous when one is not or it is a clever
way to avoid true resolution. It is dangerous when one perspective is not valid.

4. Competition (The Boxer): Takes the posture there can be only one winner; competitor fights to ensure their perspective wins
out. Can be valuable when a clear, definitive truth is at stake (more rare than we like to admit); dangerous when centered on ME
and lacks openness to discovering more truth for the sake of being right or winning.

5. Collaboration (The Blender): Tries to find a win-win result that is synergized from both perspectives. “Why don’t we take the
best of both our ideas and try this together”. Not always possible. Dangerous when time is wasted in an impossible situation, but
can be most effective when acknowledging diverse angles of truth and attempting to bring them together.

All of the Conflict Resolution Styles have a time and a place. All can be dangerous if overused. We each have a preferred style, or factory setting. But we limit our effectiveness when we are not willing/able to engage in whichever style best serves the mission we are trying to accomplish.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

PODCAST EPISODES

BLOG POSTS

WHEN IS CONFLICT OKAY?
KEEPING THE FIGHT OUT OF CONFLICT
5 APPROACHES TO CONFLICT
7 SIGNS OF HEALTHY CONFLICT
ALL THE TOOLS
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