Managing Emotions

Emotions and Systems Thinking:

The way you feel is an indication of what you value but not of how to act.
This tool empowers you to explore the limit and value of your emotions, understand their proper place in your life, and ultimately find the best solutions to challenging situations.
An image that demonstrates the difference between thinking using system 1 and system 2.

The Proper Use of Emotions: Neither ignored nor obeyed

Our emotions are valuable and should not be ignored. They react to external stimuli. In fact, emotions are our body’s warning system, letting us know something we value is at stake.

But, emotions should not be trusted. They should not be blindly obeyed, but taken as the very beginning of a process involving several steps. In and of themselves, they are neither good nor bad. It is the way in which we respond to our emotions that can bring about positive or negative outcomes.

What we can control

Though we can’t control the onset of emotions, we can control how we perceive them and how we respond to them.

Our emotions tell us that one of our values is being either positively or negatively triggered. However, they don’t tell us which value or how to respond. We need to understand that we have authority over our emotions.

The Two Systems of Thinking

We process our emotions through two different systems. System one is essentially the brain’s library of shortcuts, while System two slowly and deliberately processes all the information you are receiving.

System one

System one takes our past experiences and projects them into the present, filling in the gaps of our present circumstances with assumptions based on the past. While this might sound like a negative thing in every circumstance, system one uses less energy, and allows us to do simple tasks with ease. However, this system doesn’t take the time to fully understand our present reality, which can lead to negative consequences if our present circumstances differ from our past experiences.

System one streamlines the path between emotion and action. Instead of feeling, processing, and then acting, we feel something and immediately act on it (Feel-Act-Think). Only later do we think about what we have done.

For example: I’m angry (Feel). I punch a hole in the wall (Act). My hand is broken and I go to the hospital, wondering later, “why did I get so angry? What could I have done differently?” (Think).

Sometimes we discover our patterns are no longer serving us well. This strains system one and forces us to engage with system two.

System two

When system two encounters a situation, it works to discover the reality of the situation. System two allows us to understand how the world works. Then, this understanding informs the development of our system one. Once we’ve developed a system one response, we rely on it, since system two takes more energy.

Unlike the Feel-Act-Think pattern of system one, system two follows the Feel-Think-Act pattern. We feel an emotion, stop to process what we’re feeling, then decide how to respond.

This might look like: I’m angry (Feel). I pause to consider why and realize I don’t think my friend is listening to me, but likely does not intend that (Think). I tell my friend how I feel and humbly ask we pursue truth together (Act).

When circumstances trigger our emotions, we should pause and think, intentionally choosing our response. When we choose our response, we better serve and lead others. Eventually, our deliberate thinking will lead to a transformed system one.

To learn more about system one and system two, we recommend Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman.

System Three

When system two can’t figure something out, where do we turn? For Christians, we turn to the ever-present Holy Spirit. Though he is active in system one and two, we lean fully on the Holy Spirit in system three and submit to his transformation of our lives. In this way, system three relies upon one of the three things we can control: in whom we place our trust.

What are some examples of your System One emotional reactions? What triggers strong emotional reactions in you? Why? What values are being pressed?
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