It can often feel like we are tossed by the wind and don’t have any control in our lives. But did you know that you get to choose whom you trust? We can take agency over our lives and our decisions. But choosing whom we trust can help control what is within our reach while we also recognize that we must relinquish that which we cannot control.
In life, there are only three things you can control:
- Your actions and choice
- Your attitude and perspective
- Whom you trust
Take ownership over your decisions by recognizing that you can control whom you trust.
Choosing Wisely
Choosing whom you trust is a power that comes with responsibility to steward well. You should consider wisely when making this decision. Just because someone is in a position of authority over you does not mean that they are automatically worthy. Consider the tenants of referent power that we went through in the last post. Does this person follow through on their word? Are they consistent, and do they act based on their values?
People who are trustworthy will show you with their actions instead of just telling you with their position or status.
There are also levels of trust based on someone’s ability to self-govern, as is outlined in the mental model of the Freedom V. An employee on their first day will not be as trusted as they will be in the fifth year working for the company. Trust should develop naturally over time.
Taking the Risk
Reading the above, it might be easy to then be paralyzed with fear about choosing the wrong person to trust. But that would be the wrong takeaway. We should indeed take trust seriously and use it wisely. But we need not be held back by fear.
It is worth making the decision to trust others. We are not meant to do everything by ourselves. We need to trust others, even if that means relinquishing some of our control. Consider wisely who you will choose to trust and with what level of responsibility. But, once you have made that decision, follow your instinct, and don’t try to maintain control.
If there is a mistake, and the person doesn’t deliver on their responsibility, then you can have a Moment of Truth to determine what went wrong. Don’t see a mistake as a reason that you shouldn’t have trusted them. Rather, build a Create-Something Culture by viewing mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow.
Remember the context of the other things you can control. You cannot control the actions or perspectives of others, including those you trust. But you can control your own attitude and choose to move forward with grace and understanding.
