After you have a Moment of Truth and are honest with yourself, you must also have the courage to be honest with others. We will never get There if we push our true feelings under the rug or try to get away with things. We need to be open and honest with those around us in order to move towards our common goal with unity together.
We might be able to divide these kinds of conversations into two categories: being honest about something you’ve done and being honest about something someone else has done.
When you need to “fess up” to a mistake
Mistakes happen. They are part of being human. But, unfortunately, many of our companies and families operate with a Don’t-Make-A-Mistake Culture where we are afraid to own up to our mistakes for fear that it will be used against us. And so, we instead hide when we mess up and hope that no one will find out. This leads to distrust and disunity.
Owning up to your mistakes could be a radical act of honesty that can help turn a Don’t-Make-A-Mistake Culture into a Create-Something Culture. In a Create-Something Culture, mistakes are acknowledged and learned from in actionable ways. Instigating a Moment of Truth with a supervisor about yourself is a bold move, but one that shows that you value the relationship enough to be honest and want to improve.
When you need to address someone else’s actions or behavior
You cannot control someone else’s actions or choices, but you can control your own response. And sometimes someone else’s behavior necessitates a response from you, depending on your relationship to each other and the situation at hand.
For an easy example, let’s say you’re a parent and your toddler starts to run out into the road. You will instinctively run after them, pick them up, and walk away from the busy street. You might find yourself having a mini Moment of Truth with them: “You ran out towards the street” (reality), “I understand you want to run” (story), “You need to stay safe, so I will hold your hand on this sidewalk” (plan).
We do this naturally in many areas of life but have to think about it intentionally to carry into other areas.
The other tool that snuck its way into this MOT is that the parent used the Freedom V when instituting the plan. They learned that their toddler was not ready to use the freedom they had been given wisely, and so they were moved down the Freedom V and given more constraints (a hand to hold) in order to have clear expectations and safe boundaries.
Honesty Between Equals
This formula, of course, gets complicated when you are not interacting with someone that you have such clear authority over as a parent has with a child. Let’s say, perhaps, that you want to address a friend or partner’s drinking problem, or that your employee has been consistently pushing back deadlines. The steps of the MOT will stay the same, and the person might have their freedom or choices restricted as a result of their actions. But when two adults are approaching this conversation, they should work together to reach a solution.
This helps foster a Create-Something Culture that we acknowledged above that we want to have in order for people to feel comfortable being honest about their mistakes. The Moment of Truth and Freedom V tools do not require authoritarian leadership in order to be effective. Individuals can work through them and agree on a plan together to have the highest potential for efficacy.
Gracie McBride is the Content and Systems Development Coordinator at The Crossroad.
