The past couple of months we have focused our articles on conflict and then on relationships. A vital component of navigating both of those topics is knowing how to listen well. This month, we’re going to move to a smaller, practical level and take a deep dive into two Servant Leadership tools that will help you improve your listening skills. The first tool is known as the Formula for Listening.
The Formula for Listening
The Formula for Listening is three-fold, and we will look at them each in turn.
Humility + Focus + Curiosity = Listening
Humility
In order to listen well, you must practice humility. You have to believe that the person speaking has something to say that you need to know. Even if you are in a position of power over the speaker, have the humility to recognize that you do not have all the answers. Communication is not about me. Humility involves the understanding that we can work together to achieve the common mission.
Focus
In order to really hear and understand the other person, you need to focus on what they’re saying. Oftentimes, we accidentally find ourselves thinking about what we want to say next instead of focusing on the other person. Show the speaker that you value their insights by focusing on their words. It is okay to take a moment to formulate your thoughts after they finish speaking. Clear understanding is better than a few moments of silence!
Curiosity
Finally, curiosity helps tie both of these tips together. If you are curious about what someone has to say, you will have the humility to accept it may inform or correct your opinion. Curiosity will also help you stay focused, because it means that you are seeking to have a clear understanding and seek insights into the other person’s thoughts. We will discuss more ways to practice curiosity next week through observational and active listening.
When we think of communication, we often think about what we say. But listening is just as important and helps ensure both parties understand each other clearly. Improve your relationships and mitigate conflict by listening well: with humility, focus, and curiosity as to what the other person has to say.
Gracie McBride is the Content and Systems Development Coordinator at The Crossroad.
