For some people, the main road block standing in your way keeping you from moving towards your There is indecision. Maybe you can’t decide between two Strategic Theres that are both in line with your Transcendent There so it’s hard to prioritize them. Or perhaps you can’t even decide on a Transcendent There to begin with. Indecision can feel paralyzing, and it can keep us stuck in the Pit of Despair not moving towards our goals for far too long. So how can you move forward when you just can’t decide what to do?
Define Your Values
If you haven’t clearly defined your core values, this would be a good place to start. We should also revisit our values if we find they’re not working for us. Our values are directly connected to our actions, as opposed to what we preach. As such, we need to constantly evaluate our choices in order to ensure they are in alignment with who we say we want to be.
Putting a value in the “no” pile doesn’t mean that you don’t value that thing at all. Instead, it just means that you might value something else a little more, or maybe that value nests under a larger one. For example, you might value both honesty and trust. But you might decide to just include trust in your list of core values, because honesty is part of building trust. You still value honesty, even if it’s not in your core list.
Remembering that this list of core values is non-exhaustive can help you move forward in deciding which to prioritize. You’re not excluding other values by leaving them off, you’re just trying to get a bigger picture.
Broaden Your Horizons
Defining your values is the first step in creating a Transcendent There, but you might have a hard time seeing how they all come together toward a unified goal. This is where you might need to broaden your horizons.
Some of us are bigger dreamers than others and can imagine grand possibilities and outcomes. Others of us are very practical and focused on what we can realistically achieve. Neither one of these is better than the other, but I think there is something we can learn from both sides.
If you are more of a realist, challenge yourself to dream big. I personally have a hard time putting words to things that I don’t actually think will happen. I’d much rather focus on achievable goals. But I think that this personally stems from a fear of failing at something I say I want to do rather than actually not wanting it.
This might manifest itself differently for you. But if you also have a hard time voicing, even to yourself, what you want, this is your opportunity to try.
Your “big goal” could be a publicly recognizable dream like competing at the olympics, becoming a CEO, or booking a Broadway show, or a more localized dream like being a great parent or growing your own fruits and vegetables. But whatever your dream is, once you have named it, think about how it would make you feel to have accomplished it. Proud? Joyful? At peace?
Along with your list of core values, these are the things that will guide your Transcendent There. And you may never reach your lofty goal, but you can still live by your values and feel pride and joy in accomplishing smaller goals along the way.
Take the Next Step
If you are more of a dreamer, you might have a hard time putting those dreams into action. Or maybe you can only imagine a grand vision but have no idea what you actually want to do. In this case, it’s good to remember the model of the Nesting Theres: that we plan from the top down but act from the bottom up. No one is expecting you to jump to the finish line. Just take the next step.
Even if you aren’t sure if that next step is the exact right one to make, go ahead and take it. Remember that part of the journey of the Path is to act, learn, and adjust. We expect to have to make adjustments along the way and we won’t get everything right the first time every time.
This is especially true when having to make a decision between two good options. You won’t know when you take the first step which road will be easier or get you to your There more quickly. But if both are ultimately aimed at the same end, it doesn’t matter which you choose. All that you are responsible for is doing the best with what you have.
It can be hard to take a step when you don’t know where that will lead you. But every step you take brings you closer to your goal. And every moment you spend stuck in indecision is time you could have spent chasing your There. My hope is that you would feel empowered to move forward in a clear direction, even if you’re not totally sure about every step that you take along the way.
Gracie McBride is the Content and Systems Coordinator at The Crossroad.
